Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
