too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
