genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
