READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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