He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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