You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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