Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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