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she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
