She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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