Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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