Cold hands, warm shart.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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