I wish I could teleport
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
