Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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