Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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