literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
did you just send me my own nude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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