i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
