We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
