wat bout pragnant strippers??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
