I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
