Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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