Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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