I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
