There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
