Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
