The maid of honor just puked.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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