i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
