I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
