Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
