apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
