All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
