you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
