Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
