I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
