I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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