i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
