Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
