He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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