is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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