He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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