I am puke
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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