Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
