It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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