i don't like sucking hair
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
