first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
