I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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