That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
