the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
