addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
