there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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