come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
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