Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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