Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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