Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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