apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
