he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
